So, I'm scrolling down the facebook homepage because that's how the world operates these days. It's June, people are hitting the beach, Summer fun is all around, and, unfortunately, poor decisions are being made. I promise I'm not trying to be a buzz kill for your family trip and fun in the sun, but I want to challenge you to think through what you post. Honestly, I hate that I even have to bring up the challenge for people (especially parents!!!) to think through what they post on the web. But you say, "I have my privacy settings cued in to Fort Knox. No one but my best friend and I can see it." I think we have seen enough from facebook in the last year or two to know that your privacy settings on facebook are about as effective as a bagphone on a 4G network. So, here goes...
Here's a second reason you should think about the post and the picture. You really do not know who is looking at your daughter. Let me even back this out to all of you high school, college, and young adult posters out there who group up with your gal pals and post a two piece party picture that will send the majority of males into a lust filled spiral. How many times do we hear of rape, sexual exploitation, unwanted sexual advance, child pornography charges, etc where the people around the accused say something along the lines of "He was such a nice guy. I never knew he was capable of..." or "I had no idea he was like that." Exactly. See above where I gave you the working definition of voyeurism? thefreedictionary.com adds this tidbit to its definition: "especially from a secret vantage point." What is more secret than your facebook page from the comfort and privacy of their own home?
You can naively think that your friends on facebook are "clean" or "safe", but do you really think that the majority of men, regardless of age are not even tempted in the slightest to take a second look? And what if they do? What if it's you? The safest policy here is not to post, regardless of the privacy setting. Earlier I stated that you possess a great responsibility given the guardianship/stewardship of your daughter. That includes online imagery. But, you are also responsible for what you put out there that may cause another to stumble into sin. Let me refer you to 1 Cor. 8. No, we aren't sacrificing to idols, but we are discussing liberty. Just because you think that you and your family are mature enough to endure the onslaught of girls in two piece pictures, do you really think it is godly behavior to place a goldmine of lust in front of an audience of men who are already bombarded by every other facet of media by sex, sex, and more sex? Is the decency of being a sister in Christ to these men not enough for you to curb what you post? Or even more, what you buy for your daughter to wear (or wear yourself)?
This is all aside from the question of how much of your child's life do you really want to live out online (for a great perspective on this question, check out this article). This is a matter of living out Galatians 6.2 and helping each other bear burdens. Further, this is a matter of teaching our daughters about purity and godliness. I know, you took your daughter through "True Love Waits" or its equivalent. Keep this paradigm in mind: your method will always undercut your message. You can tell your daughter that purity matters, but then parade her on facebook ("innocently", I know) and the public beaches and undo what you have spent your time investing. Or you can teach your teenage son how the Bible teaches us to flee sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6.18), but then post the bikini pics that his friends are dying to see.
The best route is to teach your daughter that she is made in the image of God (Gen. 1.27). Show her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139.14) and how to adorn herself with godliness (1 Peter 3.4). Then you can reinforce that by protecting her body with the clothes you buy for her and the photos of her you post online. You can demonstrate for her that a woman of God's own heart seeks the godliness and purity of her brothers in Christ and does not incite them to lust (intentionally or unintentionally). You will then make the best family memories and beach trips, knowing that you have protected your family, the image of God, and honored your commitment to following Christ.
I see parents, primarily mothers, posting pictures of their 12, 13, 14 year old daughters in skimpy two piece bathing suits out on the beach enjoying fun. Well, I want you to think about the post and the picture. Several reasons. First, does your daughter realize the implications of you, her parents, posting a sexually revealing picture of her online? Or, better asked...do you? Let's get real with it. What you see as an "innocent" two piece swimsuit, teenage boys and perverted men see as an opportunity to get an eye full of your daughter that you did not intend. Webster defines voyeurism as "one who
habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means." Didn't think about that one with that
last Instagram or instant upload to facebook from the smartphone, did you? I'm
not trying to be crass, but I want you the parent to think about it this way: Would you want your daughter
posting selfies from the bathroom in her bra and panties or her scant two piece?
This question
drives us much deeper than just an "innocent" picture on facebook. We
start with the question of the bathing suit itself. What have you taught your
daughter with the purchase of this article of clothing? For starters, you have
taught her to reveal herself. Second, you have taught her to disregard biblical
modesty and godliness (YES, you can be cute AND modest...you just haven't
taught it). Implicit within this, you have taught your daughter to mimick the
woman of Proverbs 7 who uses her body to entice and draw attention rather than
the woman of 1 Peter 3 who is noticed because of her godly character. Third,
you have taught your daughter that it is appropriate and acceptable for
boys/men to ogle over her, sinfully drawing their attention to lust after her.
There is great responsibility in the choice of attire and the stewardship of
the body God has given your daughter. Let me refer you to this article from a woman's perspective on the
issue at hand.
Here's a second reason you should think about the post and the picture. You really do not know who is looking at your daughter. Let me even back this out to all of you high school, college, and young adult posters out there who group up with your gal pals and post a two piece party picture that will send the majority of males into a lust filled spiral. How many times do we hear of rape, sexual exploitation, unwanted sexual advance, child pornography charges, etc where the people around the accused say something along the lines of "He was such a nice guy. I never knew he was capable of..." or "I had no idea he was like that." Exactly. See above where I gave you the working definition of voyeurism? thefreedictionary.com adds this tidbit to its definition: "especially from a secret vantage point." What is more secret than your facebook page from the comfort and privacy of their own home?
You can naively think that your friends on facebook are "clean" or "safe", but do you really think that the majority of men, regardless of age are not even tempted in the slightest to take a second look? And what if they do? What if it's you? The safest policy here is not to post, regardless of the privacy setting. Earlier I stated that you possess a great responsibility given the guardianship/stewardship of your daughter. That includes online imagery. But, you are also responsible for what you put out there that may cause another to stumble into sin. Let me refer you to 1 Cor. 8. No, we aren't sacrificing to idols, but we are discussing liberty. Just because you think that you and your family are mature enough to endure the onslaught of girls in two piece pictures, do you really think it is godly behavior to place a goldmine of lust in front of an audience of men who are already bombarded by every other facet of media by sex, sex, and more sex? Is the decency of being a sister in Christ to these men not enough for you to curb what you post? Or even more, what you buy for your daughter to wear (or wear yourself)?
This is all aside from the question of how much of your child's life do you really want to live out online (for a great perspective on this question, check out this article). This is a matter of living out Galatians 6.2 and helping each other bear burdens. Further, this is a matter of teaching our daughters about purity and godliness. I know, you took your daughter through "True Love Waits" or its equivalent. Keep this paradigm in mind: your method will always undercut your message. You can tell your daughter that purity matters, but then parade her on facebook ("innocently", I know) and the public beaches and undo what you have spent your time investing. Or you can teach your teenage son how the Bible teaches us to flee sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6.18), but then post the bikini pics that his friends are dying to see.
The best route is to teach your daughter that she is made in the image of God (Gen. 1.27). Show her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139.14) and how to adorn herself with godliness (1 Peter 3.4). Then you can reinforce that by protecting her body with the clothes you buy for her and the photos of her you post online. You can demonstrate for her that a woman of God's own heart seeks the godliness and purity of her brothers in Christ and does not incite them to lust (intentionally or unintentionally). You will then make the best family memories and beach trips, knowing that you have protected your family, the image of God, and honored your commitment to following Christ.
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